Friday, December 14, 2007

why i'm a bad blogger - installment # 2


i'm a bad blogger, or simply an annoying person, because i think that since i have begun blogging - everyone must. i'm like one of those people that finds a new restaurant and the EVERYONE has to go, reads a new book and EVERYONE has to read it, turns a certain age and then EVERYONE has to be that age. well, perhaps the last one is a bit of a stretch, but you are smelling what i'm cooking. suddenly, i can't help thinking about the fact that everyone i know is interesting, have compelling pursuits, and are talented in the arts of the mind (is that immodest to say? everyone i know is fabulous ergo, i'm fabulous? (fyi, i just accidentally put a "t" on the end of ergo, because i thought it was silent, and found out that ergot is actually the name of a species of parasitic vagina among certain grasses and grains - no joke, look here. don't say i never taught you anything, especially about the interspecies cornucopia of vaginas).

anyhoo. i am going to continue to be a bad blogger by attempting to make my fabulous friends torn among the doubtless fabulous blogs my other fabulous friends are wont to make now that i have incessantly insisted that everyone must blog their respective and collective fabulousness. whew. that is a lot of immodest fabulousness.

in closing, i am going to leave you with a collection of words i am not super fond of. of course i had to name my blog "i hate my blog" thereby compelling me to think of things i actually do hate and thereby perpetuating hate on "i hate my blog" blog. a disclaimer: i love love. swears. just look at previous posts.

gross words:

* panties - however, panties has significantly grown on me. when i was 11, saying panties to me could have resulted in copious amounts of vomiting.

* mustache - it is gross to say and gross on people's faces. for real.

* skakum - a country road near where i grew up.

* taste - i don't actually hate the word taste but i hate when waiters and waitresses ask you how something "tastes." i find that a deeply personal question that should not be asked flippantly. :P

* speaking of vaginas - the t word. i can cosy up to the c word in a subversive kinda way, but the t word? please. it's horrible.

what are some of your unfavouritest words? what words give you the creeps? induce vomiting? tell me - i need to add to my repertoire...

4 comments:

t_moore8 said...

I honestly felt like this blog spoke to me...I know first hand how offended and disgusted you become when you hear someone use the t-word...I saw a movie with Denzel Washington and Jodie Foster where the some big business guy or the mayor of new york refers to jodie foster as
"you magnificent c#*t." It was the equivalent of a verbal train wreck...you knew you shouldn't listen, but you just couldn't stop yourself from wanting to hear him say it again.

I find the word tweed is useless but takes a lot of effort to say...its like you have to hang onto the eeeeeed part...

panties is a great word...as I have already discussed panties and their seinfeld relevance in one of my previous posts...

mustache is great...Tom Selleck makes the word mustache a must say...also, with out the word mustache, you couldn't have mustache growing contests, 25 cent mustache ride t-shirts...

your blog really is graphic, you should really put up a disclaimer to keep little kids from reading it...I mean who goes from talking about the word taste, to starting their next section with "speaking of vaginas"...

And for the record...I VERY much respect your opinions...you are very wise...

Notice how I have matured...I didn't type the t-word once in my post!! :)

jacks said...

i appreciate your t-word free post. i will, however, add tweed to my repertoire because tweed is the equivalent of a clothing train wreck. "verbal train wreck" will also be added to my vocabulary as i am certain that i am one.

sharpsticks said...

I'm liking this blog--the one you hate. Good thoughts, funny thoughts and deep, drifting thoughts.

The word I hate: crap. It *sounds* like wet lumpy excrement on its way out of an anus.

You asked.

jacks said...

thank you sharpsticks - i am deeply honoured to have such a alpha-blogger such as yourself on board! thank you for your kind words about my blog as well - i especially like the drifting thoughts idea - it sums it up well.

and as for "crap" - i'm just gonna tease you and say that you may not like the word but you wordlessly go where only the bravest bloggers dare - beyond the boundaries of the internets - by pictorially blogging about it in its wet, lumpy glory. and for that, among many, many other reasons, you must be admired. ;)