Thursday, April 10, 2008

why i'm a bad blogger - installment # 5

i thought it might be time for another rousing rendition of my mediocrity at crafting and maintaining this beautiful blog. since this is my like, fortieth-ish post, i am now an expert on why my blog pales in comparison to those that people read religiously and comment on. some of this list may seem familiar while other aspects of suckage will be entirely new. as always, comments for improvement are welcomed but will resultantly make you unlikeable. just so you know. enjoy.

1. this blog continues to be about nothing. i have recently refurbished my "about me" and "interests" sections. it made me feel better despite the fact that you didn't notice. don't pretend you did.

2. because this blog is about nothing, i will never be paid consultancy fees for anything. shitbags of hell.

3. t-bone has recently pointed out that i not only frequently have spelling errors, but that i always do. thanks for that tidbit.

4. i may or may not have mis-named my blog. i mean seriously, even i skip over blogs with titles like hate in them because i am trying to spare myself the entitled vitriol of others. what was i thinking? i hated my other blog. however, i am desperately in love with this one.

5. do people even blog in the summer? i mean, is this blog going to contribute to my pastiness? i really need a tan - like even a spray-on one. seriously.

6. i am even starting to think the minutiae of my life is interesting. is this a blog-induced state equivalent to navel-gazing in the social sciences (mainly anthropology - i mean, i'm not judging, i'm just saying...)?

7. i think all lists must contain 10 items.

8. all i want to blog about is big brother - till death do us part. hey - you know how i feel about being judged about my reality television choices. so stop it. now.

9. i have ceased and desisted sharing my blog. that can't be good. and if i do i always tell people that they won't want to read it. how is that for a sales pitch?

10. i can't seem to talk about anything related to my dissertation which is both a positive and a negative thing. i mean, this blog is about procrastination, right? suggested to me by the one and only dr. beth, who has in fact completed a dissertation, hence the dr. appellation. almost dr. jacks can't even talk about online dating much less have a blog about it. poor almost dr. jacks. is this what i should rename my blog? methinks i am on to something.

okay, so what has this installment of bad bloggerness taught all of us? not much. but it does suggest that i maybe should change the name of my blog and perhaps share it will others with the same kind of resounding endorsement i give to referrals to my hairdresser or for people to watch flight of the conchords. seriously. watch it. its friggin' awesome folks.

vote now if you think i should change my blog title to "almost dr. jacks changes the world" or some other fabulous suggestion you wonderful people have.

11. i change my blog so often, people can't even find it, let alone figure out what it is about (just a preview of bag blogger installment #6).


Shells said...

I am not sure how you do it, but your bad blogger installments always convince me of your genius at blogging. You are a puzzle, Jacks, a freakin' Rubik's cube of mind-bending fun ;)

jacks said...

shucks shells - you are too good to me. thanks for always reading and commenting - i will continue to blog, despite my bad bloggerness, if only just for you! smooshes. ;)

Dr. Beth said...

Oh, do I ever understand the phenomenon that is changing-one's-blog name. I'm currently on my 5th blog name. I also have a number of blog names that were suggested by my readers (that I didn't take up for various reasons) that you are welcome to. Would you like to call your blog "David Emerson is a whore?"

P.S. I am a bad blog reader who is hopelessly behind on my blog reading. But I'm back from my various trips to Arctic and desert locales, so I'm bad on the commenting train!

jacks said...

@dr. beth - i will seriously consider david emerson is a whore - thank you for the suggestion. your FIFTH blog name? well that means i can start a-changin' since you are my alpha blogger model and guide. however, you didn't comment on what blog name you think might be appropriate so i am going to assume that you concur with "almost dr. jacks saves the world." it is starting to grow on me. but does that mean i have to change my URL too? cause i don't think i wanna do that. guide me my blog yoda, guide me.

Dr. Beth said...

I wouldn't change my URL if I were you. I used all 5 blog names (Thesis Writing is Hell, Thesis Writing was Hell, [the very short lived] Total Perspective Vortex, Blog That Needs a New Name and Not To Be Trusted with Knives) on the same URL ( (before switching to my new home on WordPress) and I totally think you can... nay, you *should* do the same. And, really you should switch to WordPress 'cuz WP rocks my world. Blogger is so 2005.

jacks said...

dr. beth - i went for it! i changed my title without changing my URL - thank you for the tip - this way i have the freedom to change blog titles at will without the repercussion of no one being able to find me. cause i want to be found. i really do. my mis-start blog was a wordpress blog and i seriously couldn't figure out how to use it. so for now i will stick with 2005 and a training wheels blog cause that is just my pace. the retro and lame pace. ;)