Thursday, November 29, 2007

reasons why i am a bad blogger: installment #1

in what i hope will become beloved feature of my blog, i present why my emergent blogging abilities suck. this is done solely for the purposes of improvement and not for purposes of pure masochism. because grad students LOVE masochism. it's how we do. reason number one that i am a bad blogger is as follows:

i don't not provide my readers with paragraphs. apparently this eases the reading process and makes reading inane blog posts more palatable. who knew? i thought my endless ramble of text was visually appealing. even seductive. apparently reading masses of meaningless text sucks ass. i get that.

henceforth, i am committed to paragraphs. i say, "the more, the BETTER!".

another, somewhat related reason, that i am a bad blogger is that the rules of grammar, at times, elude me. i mean, what actually are grammar rules? did we learn them? when? and can i get my time spent in like grade one through twelve spent on learning the english language back? please?

i realized this grammatical elusiveness when i was meeting with my lovely fellow soci phders who talk about such matters as grammar. we are potentially the coolest group of hipsters one can find. ;)

also, i can't properly pronounce the word "egg." i hope this doesn't interfere with my blogging.

finally, i think when people use the word "douche" to describe a person, it is freakin' hilarious. i have committed to trying to use this word subversively as a feminist and not perpetuate the misogyny that gave birth to this trend.

this final point is a testament to how i am a bad person however. not a bad blogger.



Beth said...

Um, how exactly do you pronounce "egg"?

Also, I think that there were a few years back in the 80s where English teachers thought "fuck it, we aren't going to teach grammar!" And those were the years that people like you and I were in grade school. People older than us got taught grammar and I think they teach it to kids now (although I have no idea why I think that). I understand the norms of grammar from reading stuff, but I certainly didn't learn the rules and all their funky names when I was a kid. Case in point: I only learned what a split infinitive was from a prof on my committee when he read my Ph.D. thesis. Seriously.

Chaos said...

Hilarious! Love it. It's so you...only textier ;)

Btw, I have officially decided that blogs are grammar resistance zones. Resist!

Besides, grammar rules only count in Dissertations and Grandmas' living rooms.

Long liveth the paragraph.

Thus sayeth me.

jacks said...

Beth - much to my father's chagrin I say something like "aagg." So does my sister. Perhaps you could explain this through more rat carnage? It must be figured out! Also, can you tell me what a split infinitive is some time? Thanks. And thanks for making me feel better about grammar by blaming it on the 80s. Stupid 80s.

Chaos - you're so lovely for telling me to resist. I will do. See. I bet that's bad grammar.

And thank you both for being my first commenters - you lovelies rock the blogosphere. Or the internets. Or the interwebs...